20 September, 2015
10 March, 2015
Change is good ?
A lot has happened in the past eight months since this blog was last updated. Where do I begin ?
Joys and sorrows have been a part of it all. From weddings to deaths.. from health issues to financial crisis.. from Bangalore to Delhi... from feeling of content to that of suffocation ... from high wave of optimism to the dark dungeons of depression... from anger to laughter.. from moments enjoyed to moments regretted.
There has been everything. They say that change is good and that it would be beneficial in the long run. I want to believe them who say so. When there is a feeling that there is no one to talk to, does writing help. Let me give it a shot I say.
While one may scorn at the things that are not under our control or was destined to happen, one has to take positives out of the things that did bring in a smile into our lives. The one big thing that did happen during these months was the growing up of our daughter. I regret to not have spent as much time as I would want to in seeing her grow up. Even though we do follow the things on the social media and with the aid of technology, we do
On the professional front, there is the whole looking towards doing something more meaningful in life. Maybe this is what some call the midlife crisis. Education seems to be a calling and I enjoy doing it, but still very hesitant on making the complete transition to it. I need to write a couple of books. But that is taxing and time consuming. Entrepreneurship is exciting, but risky business. Amongst all of this, one keeps wondering where and when will one find the time to do things that one is passionate about. Photography? Graphic Design? Remember that once you wanted to become a filmmaker. Did you just mention Social entrepreneurship ? Where is that thing going with the Trust one started? Impact education ? What impact ? How do you measure it ? Can you become a thought leader without doing projects that have driven change? In what capacity ?
As you can see one could go on and on the path of being negative of things all around.. but one has to find a way to get out of that negative thinking. What should be the driving force? What is the essence ? What is the purpose of life? Why is one not doing any meaningful work ?
One can lecture others on the benefits of taking the plunge, but scared to do it oneself. What's holding one back ? The home loan ? the growing daughter ? or a desire to do a whole lot of 'things' for pleasure. What is there that is not there.. happiness and satisfaction. The critical goal therefore currently should be to ensure how one gets that.
Exposure to different avenues of driving change and networking with different people is good. When do you know that the initiative you are a part of no longer benefits from your association or you fail to see yourself being a part of it in the long run ? Things are tempting in the first place, especially the low hanging fruits.
Time is precious. I am going onto 34 in a few months time. Soon questions from people will start to haunt more. People would ask whether there is something that you can be truly proud of having done. What will I say I wonder?
Joys and sorrows have been a part of it all. From weddings to deaths.. from health issues to financial crisis.. from Bangalore to Delhi... from feeling of content to that of suffocation ... from high wave of optimism to the dark dungeons of depression... from anger to laughter.. from moments enjoyed to moments regretted.
There has been everything. They say that change is good and that it would be beneficial in the long run. I want to believe them who say so. When there is a feeling that there is no one to talk to, does writing help. Let me give it a shot I say.
While one may scorn at the things that are not under our control or was destined to happen, one has to take positives out of the things that did bring in a smile into our lives. The one big thing that did happen during these months was the growing up of our daughter. I regret to not have spent as much time as I would want to in seeing her grow up. Even though we do follow the things on the social media and with the aid of technology, we do
On the professional front, there is the whole looking towards doing something more meaningful in life. Maybe this is what some call the midlife crisis. Education seems to be a calling and I enjoy doing it, but still very hesitant on making the complete transition to it. I need to write a couple of books. But that is taxing and time consuming. Entrepreneurship is exciting, but risky business. Amongst all of this, one keeps wondering where and when will one find the time to do things that one is passionate about. Photography? Graphic Design? Remember that once you wanted to become a filmmaker. Did you just mention Social entrepreneurship ? Where is that thing going with the Trust one started? Impact education ? What impact ? How do you measure it ? Can you become a thought leader without doing projects that have driven change? In what capacity ?
As you can see one could go on and on the path of being negative of things all around.. but one has to find a way to get out of that negative thinking. What should be the driving force? What is the essence ? What is the purpose of life? Why is one not doing any meaningful work ?
One can lecture others on the benefits of taking the plunge, but scared to do it oneself. What's holding one back ? The home loan ? the growing daughter ? or a desire to do a whole lot of 'things' for pleasure. What is there that is not there.. happiness and satisfaction. The critical goal therefore currently should be to ensure how one gets that.
Exposure to different avenues of driving change and networking with different people is good. When do you know that the initiative you are a part of no longer benefits from your association or you fail to see yourself being a part of it in the long run ? Things are tempting in the first place, especially the low hanging fruits.
Time is precious. I am going onto 34 in a few months time. Soon questions from people will start to haunt more. People would ask whether there is something that you can be truly proud of having done. What will I say I wonder?
03 July, 2014
When we run around too many things..
Over the past few days, I have been in a sort of a confused state of mind, owing to the work pressure and the stress related to it. It went to its nadir, when I ended up getting sick and extreme fatigue set in. I collapsed at the Patna Airport and got to know I was suffering from high blood pressure. Panic creeps in. This is NOT the life that I had envisioned or wanted!
Suddenly, the feeling of burnout. The feeling of just wanting to shut down everything. Post that day, I took a few steps backwards to understand why I was doing what I was doing, and whether it is right or not. I realise that I am running after too many things, primarily in the work area. There is perhaps the desire to get that extra money, to be able pay off the home loans, or plan for the future. I was not like that. I used to travel for pleasure. I used to socialise a lot (not on FB, Social Media, but in person. I enjoyed simple things in life.
Something must have triggered that change. I was never the guy who ran after money. So what is it ? Is it fear? Insecurity ? What am I fearful about ? What makes me Insecure? Is it impatience? Is it the notion that I have too less time and so many more things to do.
I think the next few months would be spent in trying to analyse the situation and rectify all that all wrong.
I stumbled upon the beautiful song sung by Mukesh Kumar with amazing lyrics and music. Every word in the song fits in perfectly with the
What amazing lyrics too.
कई बार यूँ भी देखा हैं
ये जो मन की सीमा रेखा हैं, मन तोड़ने लगता हैं
अनजानी प्यास के पीछे , अनजानी आस के पीछे, मन दौड़ने लगता हैं
राहों में, राहों में, जीवन की राहों में
जो खिले हैं फूल, फूल मुस्कुरा के
कौन सा फूल चुरा के, रखूँ मन में सज़ा के
जानू ना, जानू ना, उलझन ये जानू ना
सुलझाऊ कैसे कुछ समझ ना पाऊं
किस को मीत बनाऊ, किस की प्रीत भुलाऊं
Suddenly, the feeling of burnout. The feeling of just wanting to shut down everything. Post that day, I took a few steps backwards to understand why I was doing what I was doing, and whether it is right or not. I realise that I am running after too many things, primarily in the work area. There is perhaps the desire to get that extra money, to be able pay off the home loans, or plan for the future. I was not like that. I used to travel for pleasure. I used to socialise a lot (not on FB, Social Media, but in person. I enjoyed simple things in life.
Something must have triggered that change. I was never the guy who ran after money. So what is it ? Is it fear? Insecurity ? What am I fearful about ? What makes me Insecure? Is it impatience? Is it the notion that I have too less time and so many more things to do.
I think the next few months would be spent in trying to analyse the situation and rectify all that all wrong.
I stumbled upon the beautiful song sung by Mukesh Kumar with amazing lyrics and music. Every word in the song fits in perfectly with the
What amazing lyrics too.
कई बार यूँ भी देखा हैं
ये जो मन की सीमा रेखा हैं, मन तोड़ने लगता हैं
अनजानी प्यास के पीछे , अनजानी आस के पीछे, मन दौड़ने लगता हैं
राहों में, राहों में, जीवन की राहों में
जो खिले हैं फूल, फूल मुस्कुरा के
कौन सा फूल चुरा के, रखूँ मन में सज़ा के
जानू ना, जानू ना, उलझन ये जानू ना
सुलझाऊ कैसे कुछ समझ ना पाऊं
किस को मीत बनाऊ, किस की प्रीत भुलाऊं
06 June, 2014
Different person
A couple of days ago, my office colleagues mentioned that over the past month or so I appear to be a different person. I wondered why?
It came as a surprise, since I feel that I have been the same, but they refused to believe so. They claimed that I was more friendly and happier in office.
So today morning, I reflected back to think whether that was true or not. I thought of the things I have been doing differently in the past month and whether that could be a reason. If it is then I definitely need to continue doing so.
I started working out regularly. This is not to get muscular or participate in any competitions, but just to remain healthy. The feeling of being drenched in sweat and aching legs up the stairs gives an immense satisfaction. The mind is refreshed considerably.
I reduced my sugar intake drastically! They say that excess sugar in your body makes you feel lethargic and irritated. I put this to test, and feel that it is kind of true. I have a sweet tooth and the sight of the Indian sweets would make me go weak. Resisting that temptation is tougher than I thought it would be.
I started talking to my daughter, even though she just makes some sound when she listens me on the phone. At just 4 months now, I know she perhaps does not understand a word of what I say, but I still do it. I am hearing her grow up and cannot wait to see her soon.
I took upon this task of finishing off things and trying to procrastinate less. This is perhaps the biggest change I am trying to do, in order to finish things and not leave it pending. It helps me bring back the focus.
This focus is also allowing me to concentrate on tasks that really matter and put the others on lower priority.
All of this is perhaps due to that one book called "The One Thing" that I am reading currently. The last time a book had such a lasting impact on me was "The Secret" and that was a few years back.
It came as a surprise, since I feel that I have been the same, but they refused to believe so. They claimed that I was more friendly and happier in office.
So today morning, I reflected back to think whether that was true or not. I thought of the things I have been doing differently in the past month and whether that could be a reason. If it is then I definitely need to continue doing so.
I started working out regularly. This is not to get muscular or participate in any competitions, but just to remain healthy. The feeling of being drenched in sweat and aching legs up the stairs gives an immense satisfaction. The mind is refreshed considerably.
I reduced my sugar intake drastically! They say that excess sugar in your body makes you feel lethargic and irritated. I put this to test, and feel that it is kind of true. I have a sweet tooth and the sight of the Indian sweets would make me go weak. Resisting that temptation is tougher than I thought it would be.
I started talking to my daughter, even though she just makes some sound when she listens me on the phone. At just 4 months now, I know she perhaps does not understand a word of what I say, but I still do it. I am hearing her grow up and cannot wait to see her soon.
I took upon this task of finishing off things and trying to procrastinate less. This is perhaps the biggest change I am trying to do, in order to finish things and not leave it pending. It helps me bring back the focus.
This focus is also allowing me to concentrate on tasks that really matter and put the others on lower priority.
All of this is perhaps due to that one book called "The One Thing" that I am reading currently. The last time a book had such a lasting impact on me was "The Secret" and that was a few years back.
28 May, 2014
Focus.. the Key..
These are challenging times, I must say..
With too much going on all around, the one thing that is missing is the focus.
It is important to get it back.
I notice that it has been impacting me in my work.
There is the constant fear of failure.. do not know since when it started bothering me.
May be it is the family pressure? Or the fact that I have a larger family now?
This needs to change.
#Notes2Self
With too much going on all around, the one thing that is missing is the focus.
It is important to get it back.
I notice that it has been impacting me in my work.
There is the constant fear of failure.. do not know since when it started bothering me.
May be it is the family pressure? Or the fact that I have a larger family now?
This needs to change.
#Notes2Self
31 March, 2014
13 December, 2013
Crossroads
There are times in one's life when you have to stand up and take account of the situation around you, and the crossroads at which you are in.
I am at one such junction in my life currently.
Broke, but still hopeful of the tides to change and get the means to survival.
Tired, but still energetic of the work ahead and the belief that the work will be loved.
Anxious, but still happy as one awaits the arrival of the kid.
Excited, but yet calm with the upcoming Jagriti Yatra, as an opportunity to awaken one from within.
With all the good wishes around, one knows that things will change and that too for the good.
Crossroads like these make you realise the value of focusing and knowing how to put things on priority.
28 November, 2013
Things that disturb you...
There has been a lot of things going on in India that is disturbing. Some are highlighted in the media to the death, and some remain unknown. But perhaps it does not disturb me so much because they are behind a screen still.
As I prepare to become a parent, there are two incidents of the recent past that left me shell shocked and I did not have nay words to say.
One was when a parent said that my kid is so naughty and a spoilt child that if someone want to take her (almost 12 years), I would give her away!
Second was when a child who is on the verge of completion of the graduate study, says that I am just waiting for the day when I graduate, as I will cut off all ties from my parents that day.
I was speechless the moment I heard the above. It is something I can never even imagine, and I often wonder how could they have come to this situation. It has disturbed me from within and I have no answers . In the later case, the child was asking for help, but I was helpless. How do I react to such a situation ?
Hard are the ways of the world sometimes.
As I prepare to become a parent, there are two incidents of the recent past that left me shell shocked and I did not have nay words to say.
One was when a parent said that my kid is so naughty and a spoilt child that if someone want to take her (almost 12 years), I would give her away!
Second was when a child who is on the verge of completion of the graduate study, says that I am just waiting for the day when I graduate, as I will cut off all ties from my parents that day.
I was speechless the moment I heard the above. It is something I can never even imagine, and I often wonder how could they have come to this situation. It has disturbed me from within and I have no answers . In the later case, the child was asking for help, but I was helpless. How do I react to such a situation ?
Hard are the ways of the world sometimes.
23 November, 2013
28 October, 2013
Vulnerability
Bring vulnerable is one of the worst feelings. Till that feeling does not completely go away, you do not feel safe.
Every day you learn either from family members or friends or could be strangers.
Today I learnt about a very dark side of me.
05 October, 2013
Are you Happy ?
It is perhaps the most basic of question.
Are you happy?
The context being work, family, life, situations, etc etc. There could be so many of them. But in the end, all that matters, is whether you are happy or not.
While we grapple with situations day in and day out, we often forget the very basis of our existence, which is happiness. Happiness is a state that when used a parameter to answer questions, really changes the way one looks at life. One need not be very rich to be happy.
Of late I have been pondering over this regularly. It's amazing that the moment there is a question mark on the happiness quotient, I end up getting into an introspective mood. I start questioning many things. I start to prioritize.
I start to find myself.
24 September, 2013
Welcoming the 33rd year
I have a feeling that this year is going to be special in many ways.
I reflect back on the year that passed by and am thankful for all the opportunities that I had during that time to passionately follow the things I love doing. From managing to administrating to teaching to consulting and last but not the least, traveling. The past year had all of it.
A new year in the life cycle is a good time to reflect back on multiple fronts.
Questions pop up in the mind.
Did I grow as a human being?
Was I good enough as a person?
Did I do enough to make amends for the mistakes I may have committed during that time?
There are always questions and more questions. To some we find an answer, and some are best left unanswered.
This 33rd year of the life has started on a great note and I could not have asked for better.
I got selected to a part of 2013 Jagriti Yatra as a facilitator! I get to mentor, travel on a train across India, meet some totally inspiring people and inspire more passionate youth on entrepreneurship! I am glad how dots are connecting! The inspiration to passionately follow what you believe in just went a few notches higher. I feel that the event is
19 July, 2013
Frustration rising
Somethings seems to be wrong somewhere.
Perhaps the plethora of negative news surrounding, so much so that a few good news are lost in the chaos all around.
Maybe it is the work pressure mounting up, when the time was meant to be that for vacations...
Or it is the uncertainty around with so many things going on.. and that I am unable to focus and concentrate on anything..
Silly points resulting in arguments... things which one feels to be should not be given too much thoughts...
Wonder what will bring this down....
15 June, 2013
The fourteenth day of June 2013
There are certain days that you want to mark for eternity.
Those are the days when you life turns upside down.
Where you get a news that changes your life forever.
For the good this time.
I gave it a day for the news to really set in. The whole of the 14th June, the mind has been in a constant state of anxiety. Unable to concentrate and the piling work load did no good to really ease the situation.
I believe it is true. I believe it with a large grin on my face. A moment of celebration perhaps. Or just a friendly reminder that life goes on, no matter what.
These moments in life are important. It gives you a chance to rectify all that is wrong. All that needs to be changed to ensure that the days following this day are meaningful will be done, and that you realize your worth in a larger context. The family, the immediate ones and the far-relations. You cannot please all. But you know the ones who matter and will be with you in the moment of joys.
Thank you 14th of June.
Those are the days when you life turns upside down.
Where you get a news that changes your life forever.
For the good this time.
I gave it a day for the news to really set in. The whole of the 14th June, the mind has been in a constant state of anxiety. Unable to concentrate and the piling work load did no good to really ease the situation.
I believe it is true. I believe it with a large grin on my face. A moment of celebration perhaps. Or just a friendly reminder that life goes on, no matter what.
These moments in life are important. It gives you a chance to rectify all that is wrong. All that needs to be changed to ensure that the days following this day are meaningful will be done, and that you realize your worth in a larger context. The family, the immediate ones and the far-relations. You cannot please all. But you know the ones who matter and will be with you in the moment of joys.
Thank you 14th of June.
17 February, 2013
My Aha Moments
Of late, I am really trying hard to manage my time, so that it I am able to manage my stuff and also get time to do things that really interest me, and I am genuinely happy doing.
In this exercise, I realized that I am happy when I am my productive best and vice versa. These happy moments are a result of what we designers call the Aha moments. So I set forth to recall the moments and circumstances in which I get these aha moments and as a result am happy.
I made the above typographic poster out of it and shared it with a few designer friends. The interesting part is that many of them connected to it. So I know that when I need to get my happy moments, I just need to do any of these. I know it is easier said than done, but we will give it a try!
I made the above typographic poster out of it and shared it with a few designer friends. The interesting part is that many of them connected to it. So I know that when I need to get my happy moments, I just need to do any of these. I know it is easier said than done, but we will give it a try!
03 February, 2013
In love with Sunrises
Should try to see more of them.
Body clock needs to be adjusted.
Confession: It's more challenging than I thought.
17 January, 2013
Do not give up on your dreams
I remind myself day in and day out.
Do not just give up.
Life is a series of highs and lows.
I will fight back.
Many a dreams have been lost already.
I shall not let the ones that I am after ,die out so quickly.
I will chase it.
Do not just give up.
Life is a series of highs and lows.
I will fight back.
Many a dreams have been lost already.
I shall not let the ones that I am after ,die out so quickly.
I will chase it.
01 November, 2012
On depression
Why do people get depressed? I often am asking myself this question. There is no right answer to this question .
The most common answer you would get is that it is due to circumstances. It varies from different person to person.
Depression is often a result of the fear of failure. Failure in relationships, in professional life and at times in the personal life. This again is dependent on the time of this.
Often people go into a delusion that they are not wanted. The entire world is against them. Nothing that the person does is appreciated. With every small allegations and misunderstandings the situation worsens.
How does one deal with it? Often people resort to smoking and binge drinking or run away to be left alone. The company of others feels a burden and a state of having to laugh alongside others when one does not want to.
Is it really possible to be one own self when depression hits? Do you still continue to live in an utopian state of mind or does something change? What is that thing.?
The next point of course is to know whether there is a way out of this state. And if you do, do you come out as a different person? Someone who is motivated to not let depression strike again; or do you become more vulnerable to it.
There are so many questions. Life is full of these questions. Many to which we do not have an answer.
The most common answer you would get is that it is due to circumstances. It varies from different person to person.
Depression is often a result of the fear of failure. Failure in relationships, in professional life and at times in the personal life. This again is dependent on the time of this.
Often people go into a delusion that they are not wanted. The entire world is against them. Nothing that the person does is appreciated. With every small allegations and misunderstandings the situation worsens.
How does one deal with it? Often people resort to smoking and binge drinking or run away to be left alone. The company of others feels a burden and a state of having to laugh alongside others when one does not want to.
Is it really possible to be one own self when depression hits? Do you still continue to live in an utopian state of mind or does something change? What is that thing.?
The next point of course is to know whether there is a way out of this state. And if you do, do you come out as a different person? Someone who is motivated to not let depression strike again; or do you become more vulnerable to it.
There are so many questions. Life is full of these questions. Many to which we do not have an answer.
Facing Death
Facing death. It is a moment that you do not forget for a long time. Today was one such I day.
Today whole driving In my car, I was hit by a bus . For an instance i thought this was it. Perhaps the last few moments of my life. It was for those few seconds that I was too shocked. Anything could have happened. I had my life play out in front of me.
While driving I was thinking about the one thing that is dearest to me right now; my wife. Had she eaten anything ? What should I buy for the evening. Perhaps I will cook dinner today since she will get home late. Where should we go for our second anniversary etc.
I was to occupied in these thoughts when a bus decided to take a sudden cut and bang into my car. Today the car completes one month and I was also thinking about the pleasant moments I have had with it so far.
Today suddenly I felt scared of death. I Had not felt the same even while doing stunts liked sky diving. They say that death is the only thing that is certain . The same thing cannot be said for anything else. Perhaps if is these moments that make you realistic and realize the value of life. It makes you appreciated the people you love all the more. it makes you feel worried about what will happen to them when you are gone.
In an ideal relationship, Unconditional love flows. The kind of love you love without expecting anything in return for it. Though it is very idealistic thing as there are bound to be differences. Yet we as humans strive for it. We run around really hard to ensure that the relationship is not hampered by these differences.
In moments like the one that happened today, you forget that you expect a similar sense of unconditional love, that is pure. you just want to live to love. Where you're only worry is the person you love.
Today whole driving In my car, I was hit by a bus . For an instance i thought this was it. Perhaps the last few moments of my life. It was for those few seconds that I was too shocked. Anything could have happened. I had my life play out in front of me.
While driving I was thinking about the one thing that is dearest to me right now; my wife. Had she eaten anything ? What should I buy for the evening. Perhaps I will cook dinner today since she will get home late. Where should we go for our second anniversary etc.
I was to occupied in these thoughts when a bus decided to take a sudden cut and bang into my car. Today the car completes one month and I was also thinking about the pleasant moments I have had with it so far.
Today suddenly I felt scared of death. I Had not felt the same even while doing stunts liked sky diving. They say that death is the only thing that is certain . The same thing cannot be said for anything else. Perhaps if is these moments that make you realistic and realize the value of life. It makes you appreciated the people you love all the more. it makes you feel worried about what will happen to them when you are gone.
In an ideal relationship, Unconditional love flows. The kind of love you love without expecting anything in return for it. Though it is very idealistic thing as there are bound to be differences. Yet we as humans strive for it. We run around really hard to ensure that the relationship is not hampered by these differences.
In moments like the one that happened today, you forget that you expect a similar sense of unconditional love, that is pure. you just want to live to love. Where you're only worry is the person you love.
27 October, 2012
On the road . . .
I am back.
On the road that is.
Felt I was missing something.
Not a big deal I know.
Perhaps it is after all a way for me to get back the composure.
To be back with uncertainty.
To get familiar with the unfamiliar.
The faces that all tell stories.
The chairs and seats all watching the action unfold day after day.
The anxious moments of turbulence.
Chai-Wai at the unknown stops.
Pressure controlled cabins.
Wish one could do that to the mind as well.
Up one goes down she comes.
On the road that is.
Felt I was missing something.
Not a big deal I know.
Perhaps it is after all a way for me to get back the composure.
To be back with uncertainty.
To get familiar with the unfamiliar.
The faces that all tell stories.
The chairs and seats all watching the action unfold day after day.
The anxious moments of turbulence.
Chai-Wai at the unknown stops.
Pressure controlled cabins.
Wish one could do that to the mind as well.
Up one goes down she comes.
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