Do not give up on your dreams

I remind myself day in and day out.

Do not just give up.
Life is a series of highs and lows.
I will fight back.
Many a dreams have been lost already.
I shall not let the ones that I am after ,die out so quickly.
I will chase it.

On depression

Why do people get depressed? I often am asking myself this question.  There is no right answer to this question .

The most common answer you would get  is that it is due to circumstances. It varies from different person to person.

Depression is often a result of the fear of failure. Failure in relationships, in professional life and at times in the personal life. This again is dependent on the time of this.

Often people go into a delusion that they are not wanted.  The entire world is against them.  Nothing that the person does is appreciated.  With every small allegations and misunderstandings the situation worsens.

How does one deal with it?  Often people resort to smoking and binge drinking or run away to be left alone.  The company of others feels a burden and a state of having to laugh alongside others when one does not want to.

Is it really possible to be one own self when depression hits? Do you still continue to live in  an utopian state of mind or does something change? What is that thing.?

The next point of course is to know whether there is a way out of this state.  And if you do, do you come out as a different person?  Someone who is motivated to not let depression strike again;  or  do you become more vulnerable to it.

There are so many questions. Life is full of these questions. Many to which we do not have an answer.

Facing Death

Facing death. It is a moment that you do not forget for a long time.  Today was one such I day.
Today whole driving In my car,  I was hit by a bus . For an instance i thought this was it.  Perhaps the last few moments of my life.  It was for those few seconds that I was too shocked. Anything could have happened.  I had my life play out in front of me.

While driving I was thinking about the one thing that is dearest to me right now; my wife.  Had she eaten anything ? What should I buy for the evening. Perhaps I will cook dinner today since she will get home late.  Where should we go for our second anniversary etc.

I was to occupied in these thoughts when a bus decided to take a sudden cut and bang into my car. Today the car completes one month and I was also thinking about the pleasant moments I have had with it so far.

Today suddenly I felt scared of death.  I Had not felt the same even while doing stunts liked sky diving.  They say that death is the only thing that is certain . The same thing cannot be said for anything else.  Perhaps if is these moments that make you realistic and realize the value of life.   It makes you appreciated the people you love all the more.  it makes you feel worried about what will happen to them when you are gone.

In an ideal relationship, Unconditional love flows. The kind of love you love without expecting anything in return for it. Though it is very idealistic thing  as there  are bound to be differences. Yet we as humans strive for it.  We run around really hard to ensure that the relationship is not hampered by these differences.

In moments like the one that happened today,  you forget that you expect a similar sense of unconditional love, that is pure.  you just want to live to love.  Where you're only worry is the person you love. 

On the road . . .

I am back.
On the road that is.
Felt I was missing something.
Not a big deal I know.
Perhaps it is after all a way for me to get back the composure.
To be back with uncertainty.
To get familiar with the unfamiliar.
The faces that all tell stories.
The chairs and seats all watching the action unfold day after day.
The anxious moments of turbulence.
Chai-Wai at the unknown stops.
Pressure controlled cabins.
Wish one could do that to the mind as well.
Up one goes down she comes.

The traveller in me...

Just made this small poster to remind myself that no matter what the circumstances are, I will travel. 

When a poem touches your heart..

The genius of Tagore.

यहाँ जो गीत गाने आया था , उसे गा नहीं सका |
आज केवल वीणा के तारों का स्वर साधता रहा,
गाने की आस मन में ही रह गयी |
मेरे स्वरों में सम नहीं आया , मेरे शब्द लड़खड़ाते रहे
केवल प्राणों में गीत गाने की व्याकुलता भरी रही |
फूल खिले नहीं, केवल एक हवा बहती रही |
मैंने उसके दर्शन नहीं किये , उसके बोल नहीं सुने, केवल
उसकी पग्ध्वानी ही बीच-बीच में सुनता रहा
वह मेरे द्वार के सामने से आता-जाता है ,
मेरा सारा दिन उसके सत्कार के लिए
आसन बिछाने में बीत गया ,
घर में दीया भी न जला सका,
तो अब उसे कैसे पुकारूँ?
उससे मेरी भेंट नहीं हुई;
किन्तु वह आएगा, भेंट होगी, यह आशा मेरे प्राणों में बसी है.

This one has so much meaning in my life at this point of time. 

The urge

It's something that keeps poking you again and again.
In moments of despair.
In moments when you are not sure of yourself, or of the people around you.
At times when you feel isolated and the most vulnerable.

You fight it. It plays games with you.
It teases you. It has this flirtatious smile.
Wants you to commit that one mistake.

Just once and then you can go back to not doing it, it says slyly.
It knows your weaknesses. Knows it really well.

But you be strong.
A slight deter and its game over.
Fight it. Believe in your heart.
Control the urge.