People are People

This post is a way to find a reason for the internal conflicts that I am having, and hence there are chances that there might be statements and points that contradict each other. The post is about me trying to understand that people are people and not business contacts. At least that's the way I see it or better put, have so far been seeing it. 

Over the past few months, I have been involved in running my own design startup. Now I do not need to reiterate that, that is a challenging job. However I do need to re-iterate that its a monumental task when you try to run a business by comprising on values that define you as a person. 

Perhaps this is the situation that I am in and is becoming a part of my biggest internal conflict. When I interact with people, I deal with them as people. Over time, when I tried to develop the acumen towards business, I guess I started to compromise on that value that defined me. There are numerous outcomes of this. One of the prime things being that I started to see business in everything.

Any small favor that was earlier done in the goodwill of things, was now viewed upon as a business interaction. (I do not mean to contradict this with one of my earlier posts regarding charging for an effort spend on a task. That still holds true.)

In this process, I lost a few very good friends. Friends with whom I had shared a lot of great moments and they were there always in a position to help me out when I needed help. The interesting part is that these friends were the ones who got us the initial few projects.

The other day, I was talking to another college senior of mine, whom I have admired for what he is. One of the things that he mentioned is that there are two ways of running a company. One is a boutique style and the other is the corporate style.

Presently we are in the boutique style (let us call this a) of running the company, and have dreams to become a corporate style (let us call this b). Now this transition from a to b would require us to compromise on a few things. And one of those things is that having to deal with people only as business contacts. And as another entrepreneur friend of mine would say, in business there is no value for a person. It's all about the money. Somehow I do not buy that and I refuse to believe it. I have read and heard about a lot of entrepreneurs who build a team of people they value and not of businessmen. Only when I have a team of people I trust and have full confidence in, I can strive towards building the business.

Coming to the internal conflict, I feel that this is the whole tussle that is happening within me. The other partners see people as a business contact. For me however, the way I interact with people, I first try to understand them as people, or better put, as Humans. This understanding I owe to my graduate school education in Human Computer Interaction Design, wherein the most emphasis was put on the Human part. I think that was one of the most valuable things that I learnt there.

I cannot see people as business contacts first and then as people. For me business comes only later on. I cannot sacrifice so many friends and acquaintances on the pretext of getting business.  It's just not me. I think the basic premise on which people should lead their lives is with the notion of help. Even if you are working with a client, you are actually helping him/her solve a problem. We strive towards making them smile. Towards making their lives easy and hence help out in bringing about some more happiness. Isn't that how things should be?

Money will flow. That is not a concern for me ever. If I was after money, I would be leading a totally different life. I have always believed in that, however sometimes (like now) I have to rewrite that. 

Conflicts are not uncommon. It's something that everyone has at some point of time. However how we get out of that conflict is important. And one has to come out of it, no matter what. If not, then things get hampered. A lot of the things that you had planned to do appear a far fetched dream.

I am struggling to come out of the conflict. I hope I do.

How do you improve your concentration?

When I started doing photography and interacting on Flickr, I did it for hours. The same applied to when I used to blog and write more regularly. The same was when I watched movies on laptop. I would watch a movie un-interrupted. I would read a good number of pages in a book before I let it down.  These things seem like a thing of the way past. So I have been looking into this phenomenon for the past couple of days, and realize that I have been short on my concentration level.

I do not recall the last time I saw a movie on the laptop and finished it in one go. I do not remember the last time I read 100 pages of a book in one sitting. I hardly spend time doing photography and it's editing. 

All the above activities used to have me so involved in them that I used to be totally immersed in that experience. And since that is not happening for the past few months, I am having an issue with that. It is been bugging me and leading to a lot of internal conflict.

I do realize that this phenomenon that I am going through is because of the zillion other things that I am involved in. Well one of the easy way of getting out of this situation could be not do those things. But as far as I know myself, I am not going to stop all of them. But I do realize that I need to prioritize. 

I tried asking a few friends on why this is happening, and why inspite of knowing the problem I am unable to find a solution to it.

Many say you owe it to the startup lifestyle, the fact that the mind is always pre-occupied with some thought or the other in relation to the business. You are always constantly at the back of the mind trying to make connections, the business ones to be precise. The personal life has taken a back seat and you are too engrossed in the promotion, sales, and what not for the business. Ok. Point taken.

Some say that you need to find ways to get your concentration level back. And that I am the only person who can find an answer to that. I agree. One of the things that came out of these discussion is that I need to write more and write about things that are going on in the mind. I do realize that I want to write. And write to the extent that I want to publish a few books. But that requires a lot of concentration, and I am making the small start towards that.

I have also been avoiding coming online much and I have been trying to go out and meet people in person to help me away from the system. I will be soon getting more back into the habit of reading more.

I would love to hear from you on what you do to improve your concentration.

The most deadly ship...

I am sure most of us have heard this joke before.. that the most dangerous of ships has to be 'Friendship'. It is most misunderstood too, and very often taken for granted. And when such a situation arises, there are bound to be complications. And to make matters worse, when you are doing business in friendship, it screws up things further.

As a rule I try to avoid doing business with friends. I already do too much charity work through the NGOs that I am associated with, and if I have to work for a friend who is earning well and needs something for his/ her business, I would charge. It's as simple as that. My argument to that is, ok so you run a software company or have your regular job. So as a friend if I ask you to design and develop an entire software for me for free.. will you do it? No! So then, why expect me to do the photography and your design work for free?

Don't I put in an effort to the work? I know it why. You do not respect the work and the effort that goes in to that.  And it is for that very reason you will never be able to understand why a photographer or a designer charges so much for what they do. I am also not trying to tell you to try and understand it. So please do not get me wrong.

Having said that, unfortunately the sad part is that I might still go ahead and do it for free. I will tell you why. It's because I am an emotional person and I believe more in human connections than business connections. I know a lot of friends take advantage of this thing and I get caught in trying to help them out.  They play with you as pawns in a chess. "Kaam de do .. It they get something good, if not then also ok. Big deal.. He is a friend after all." This is what they may think, and that they can exploit the way they want it. Excuse me. I absolutely detest that.



As friend I know that there is a line to be drawn in this situation and both friends should understand this clearly. There should be no confusion in what's expected for the work at hand and why this is being done. I recently read a comment, where in a designer was asked a question, what is the best time for u to work. And she replied, that time is everytime I get paid. If things are being done for free for friends and family, i tend to not have the same commitment in the work.

Anyway business with friends is something totally different and not the essence of this post.

I am more concerned and worried about the relationships and the human values that I associate with friendship. Talking things out and explaining things the way they ought to be is the prime-essential factor. Work and renumeration for a work comes later. If you do not like the work, then tell it. As a friend I would understand. The nature of my job is such that the deliverables are subjective. What I design or photograph need not be liked by you and that is perfectly fine. I am willing to accept it. But not liking the deliverable does not give you a right / authority to question the ability of me. If you had a doubt, then why come to me in the first place? You were taking a chance, weren't you? Damn it! I should have known. But poor me, I again got caught in the emotional atyachaar.

The above might not be the best way business is done. But then I am not a businessman either. When I need to be professional, I do it and have my client testimonials to reaffirm that. Similarly, when I am dealing with friends, I have  a certain way of working.
 
These small incidents make me rethink of my decisions on trusting a friend after having experienced a similar situation before with the same person. It makes one look sad that the first time that I had forgiven the friend was a mistake. I feel disheartened.

I fail to go by business standards with friends. If I act professional, they have a problem with that, if I do not be professional they take advantage of me. Maybe because as friends I am trying to help them. I am connected with them on a personal level. Business takes a backseat there. I am not saying that this is the right way of doing it, its just the way I do it. Just the way I felt it.

If I felt bad about something and felt hurt, in all probability I would tell it out, as I think its pointless to just keep it at heart and sulk over it. I tried doing that and got fired back at instead. Had to bear a lot of harsh words, and when I replied back in acceptance with a smile, the friend had a problem with that too! Ridiculous!

I understand that the friend is a highly successful entrepreneur with a flourishing business and I always wish him the very best, and his way of working are fine for him. But that does not mean that I should follow suit. People are different, they have different ways of working. One needs to at-least acknowledge and appreciate that.

A year...

...of travel.
...of meeting new people.
...of experiencing life to its core.

Today is exactly one year since I got back to India after my studies in the US. I do not know whether I will be back there, but one thing is for sure. I have never missed it, as I have been so much more in love with India that I have not had the time for anything else.  

• I Traveled extensively Across India - Delhi, Brindavan, Gurgaon, Patna, Saharsa, Native Village, Kolkata, Pune, Ahmedabad, Mumbai, Indore, Bhopal, Chennai, Kochin, Bhagalpur, Baroda, Surat, Goa, Mangalore, Manipal, Surathkal, Hyderabad to name a few places that I was and experienced. This puts me back on track of covering the entire India before I turn 30 - a thing I had planned way back in 2005.
  
  Of other things here are the things I have done and experienced in this past one year. 
  
• Witnessed a bomb blast in front of my eyes.
• Felt the panic caused when a bird hit the plane.
• Met an astronaut at a conference and got awed by his stories on space. 
• Shared the stage with the man behind the Sixth Sense (Pranav Mistry), and wildlife documentary maker whom I admire.
• Spoke at TEDx BITS Goa and met some really wonderful people, who inspire me even today.
• Invited to colleges all across India for my photography and design workshops.
• Interacted with a lot of children for the child education project of mine. 
• Watched the god of cricket Sachin bat and play in front of my eyes in a stadium, not once but twice. 
• Taught photography as a visiting faculty in different colleges. 
• Got totally drunk (finally :P) and experienced what sleeping on the footpath feels like.
• Started my own companies Deskala and Happy Horizon Studios. 
• Shot at weddings and at different shows.
• Did a documentary shoot on a theme I had planned almost 2 years ago.
• Got closer to parents and immediate family. 
• Helped grandma paint her house, which had never been painted before and was almost 20 years since it was built. 
• Had a marriage arranged for and then later called off. 
• Met some amazing people like Director of ISRO, CEOs of companies, and got inspired by them. 
• Felt humbled when participants mentioned that the only thing they came to attend in a college festival from hundreds of kilometers, was my photography workshop. 
• Met a lot of friends from school days, after a gap of almost 10 years. 
• Almost had my friend's bike snatched from me in broad daylight.
• Traveled in Indian railways and had loads of chai on stations. 
• Realized what it means to be living your dream.
• Spread a lot of smiles.

I am glad that this one year has been very close to being as I had imagined it to be the day I left US. I can only be thankful for it and hope to continue doing the things I have loved doing.

Thank you God.

Dream On

In conversation with a few friends, I often get to hear that dreams are something remains as dreams and cannot come into reality. Maybe I have a (good/bad) habit of dreaming only realistic things. Things which I know that by hard work can be fulfilled.

A lot of them have been fulfilled, but, unfortunately, not all dreams comes true. There are incidents moments and obstacles that come in the way of the fulfilling of the dream. The question that arises in my mind is whether to put an end to that dream, or postpone it.

More often than not, the way I do it is I postpone it. That way I know that I will get back to it soon. The reason one dreamt about something is because one had an interest in the same. I think its too shallow to just dream of something and let it go just because of one failure at making it succeed.

Dream on.

Cherishing the moments.. one at a time...

I wanted to cherish the things today. So, did the rain feel beautiful. Yes it did. Also did the smile on the faces of the children at the local market and the cranes flying over the lake, against a background of the dark rainy clouds.

Had another round of you-need-to-slow-down moments today, when I took the risk of parking a vehicle in a no parking area and it was towed away. :) Thankfully had a friend who dropped me the PS and then I got the bike back after paying the fine.

I smiled and winked at Mr Murphy and asked him what he is upto. Seemed he was upset, but had not yet finished. While I was returning, he blessed me with the longest traffic jams I have experienced in a long time here in Bangalore. Reminded me of the Hosur Road days, when I used to travel to the Infosys campus and would spend literally hours commuting. But Mr Murphy you see, did not stop just at the traffic jams. He added some spice to the drama, in the form of drizzling rain. And yes, I did have my laptop bag behind me. So you get the situation.  As much as I would have loved to speed and get out of the situation, the traffic would not allow me to do so.

Now as if these were not enough, I interact with someone who aims to question every action of yours in a demeaning manner, and make you feel that the way you are doing things is wrong. Another of those sign, that I need to stay away from such people. So I am going to do just that.  I think as a person one can gain much more by staying around the positive energy than vice versa.

I need to continue doing the things I believe in and not worry too much about people who think that it is wrong just because they do not do it. Spoke it out with a friend and am glad she had the same thought as me and I can henceforth not worry about the ones with whom the thoughts do not match.

Another friend pointed out to the fact that a lot of the blogs she reads is just the negative vibes ones. I think she raised a really valid point. There is so much negativity around the news, the media already. Do we really have to gloomify ourselves by reading up more negative and sad stuff? I guess not and hence one should aim to look for the positive energies around and share that.

To sum it up, I think I liked the rain. Each drop to such an extent, that for an instance, I forgot that I was carrying my laptop and phones along with me. I also did not realize that I was in the drizzle for close to an hour.

How time flies when you cherish the things around you one at a time, is totally inexplicable.

Where does the time fly?

I am just zapped at the way the time is flying. I am surprised at the busyness that I have got myself into. Did I ask for it? Yes. Did I foresee it? Absolutely no. Have I been in this situation before? guiltily yes. 

I keep asking myself that question everyday? To some extent, I do know that it is not good. But this has gone to a really bad limit. Mornings start at seven and the sleep comes around 2 in the night. And in between all that there is work, travel to client locations, meetings, phone calls and what not.

Social Media Marketing,  offline marketing, conducting workshops, writing design blogs and Search Engine Optimizations are the few things that are on my mind these days most, and looking to apply that in the context of Deskala. 

What the above has done is put a work-life balance for a toss. And that is not good. The sadder part is that I know it and I accept it. I got a realization to it in a strong way, when I forgot a friend's birthday. Not that he would have minded it, but still. Connecting with people online is on a low. It's become more of a case when people ping me and then I connect with them. Earlier it used to be mostly the other way around.

In the end I am hoping that it is all a part of the larger agenda, and the hope that things will fall into place. The hope that one day after a few months, I will have that time to actually sit and enjoy the sunsets without a thought about work in my head. Without the tension that I need to do this and that tomorrow. With the hope that I can go to sleep early without having to fall over my laptop keyboard.

Anyway I am trying my best to redo the things to keep the work and play life balanced.

Wish me luck.