Can you change yourself?

I came across this really short but thought provoking post at Shekar Kapur's blog.
He mentions that you can change the world, but can you change yourself?

I think that's a very loaded question. But even before that I think its worth asking, do you even know yourself properly before deciding to change yourself? So many people live in this state of false assurance that they know themselves. Many I have known do not end up knowing themselves the whole life and some do so very late in life.

Millions just go through their entire lifetime without any particular knowledge of what they want. Other million will go through without even daring to find a proper answer to what they are. And the rest millions will go through their entire life just with the flow and taking things as life presents itself.

Often I wonder if thats right or wrong. Perhaps it depends on the situations that life puts one in.

Anyway, So have you asked yourself this question?
' Who am I? '

If you have a concrete answer to that, will you be willing to change what you are depending on the situation?

Where the hell is Netra?

Ok, so I am sure of the very few readers of my blog that I have, must be wondering what happened to the Netra and me story based on our India trip.

Well to remove the suspense, nothing really happened. What happened was that we both contemplated on a lot of things. After Chennai we went to Trichy for the workshop. The students at Trichy were very nice and took good care of me and Netra. The heat was a little too much for Netra to get used to, but I am glad she adjusted without doing any nakhra. Sometimes she does get fussy, but that happens more on rainy days than on sunny days.

When I am in India, I become over possessive of Netra. I simply cannot think of letting her go away from front of my eyes for even a small time.

The college kids at Trichy were all so glad to meet Netra. A few also commented her, shook hands with her. I agree, I did feel jealous at it. But then I had allowed Netra to mingle with the others and hence I guess I should have been fine.

Netra was addressing that kind of a crowd (more that 100 students) for the first time. So as expected, was a bit nervous. It was surprising as I have been giving presentations and addressing crowds so frequently. I thought Netra will be equally comfortable, but it was not the case. The students at NIT Trichy were great with their hospitability. They did take good care of me and Netra. I could not have asked for more.

Came back to Mumbai, and there I let Netra rest at home, while I experienced the Mumbai Local rush, and the dusty markets. It was here that I missed Netra. Especially near the Mumba Devi temple. Netra's absence however was allowing me to contemplate on a few things. But of all things, I was shocked at my hesitance of wanting to click pictures of the markets that I once were so fond of clicking. A couple of years in the US had changed me to some extent.

The notion of the victim documentary, started haunting me. My conscience kept saying me that I could now no longer click those pictures of poverty, and people in sorrow and show to people in other parts of the world. What was allowed however to take pictures of the smiles and the little joys that existed amongst the people there. I was wondering if Netra would feel the same. Would she be as comfortable at clicking images of the temples and the surroundings, as she was a couple of years ago?

Thoughts kept coming and going. Got back to Mumbai airport and then to Bloomington via Newark.
Overall the trip to India was a great trip. Met loads of interesting people and enjoyed thoroughly!

In the mean time, in the US we have been having fun. Oh did i tell you Netra was so happy with the Holi that we celebrated in the US. I felt so proud of us. Inspite of being in a different culture, we were able to celebrate our festivals. From the corner of my eyes, I did see people drooling over Netra. I smiled.

Notes to myself

I read a few posts from Shekhar Kapur's Blog Truly inspiring. While I feel happy on reading them, I feel that somewhere something went wrong for me. I used to do almost all the things that he writes about. I was a progandist of those very same things. However, something went wrong.

I see that I have been posting very less.
Things have been frenzy. Have been busy with loads of things. Anxiety level is on a high. Been on the move quite a bit. Traveling. Almost everymonth I have traveled. Met loads of interesting people. Discussed loads of exciting possibilities.

However lately there has been loads of feelings. Feelings of nervousness, tension, eagerness. passion, attachment all floating around. Some looking at drowning the soul in a sea full of monstrous creatures, some promising to liberate the soul from its dungeons.

However nothing is lost.
It is never too late to reclaim, just like its never too late to learn.

Note to myself:
I will be back to being myself. Sorry for the distractions.

Incredible India

Thanks Sharanya for sharing this video !

Awesome it is!