29 July, 2008

It's not about the money, Honey!

"But you know... It's not about the money, Honey!"
I said to Nikky. She however seemed to disagree with me.

She smiled.
She smiled at my foolishness. She smiled at my ignorance.
She smiled at my not being to able to understand the value of money.

And hence began another of our thoughtful conversations.
Start Counting...

I began by asking this to myself and I also ask to others....
How many times have you done a thing without a monetary motive? Or rather how many times in the past have you done a thing that has really pleased you and made you happy. And this could have no consequences. No results. No Gains. You do it just for the sheer joy of doing it. All because it pleases you and you are happy doing it. When was the last time you did it?

Now, there are different kind of people. Some tend to view everything with a business point of view. So any idea you propose to them, you are asked back, What is the business value in this. How will you gain funds for it. etc etc...

Just the other day I was discussing with another friend about having a passion in life. In doing a thing that is apart from your job. Doing a thing that does not require a business plan. A thing that does not worry if you don't get any thing materialistic out of it. A thing for which you dont feel bad if you spent a few hours on it and still don't benefit from it. I am sure that everyone has something or the other like this.
Many do not realise what is, and many others do not want to accept what they like.

After all this ramblings, Nikky and me came to some agreement.
In the end I guess it not ALWAYS about the money. There are certain phases in everyone's life when Money is everything. Their world revolves around it. But then not always. What more money is required that being able to have a shelter and a fill stomach. Ideally that should be the case. But I know it is not.

I click not for monetary gains, but for the sheer joy of it. If something comes along the way, its welcome.
When that happens I get some new glasses and other accessories for Nikky. And I know that she will be happy about it. And as a result of it, I will be happy.

28 July, 2008

Monologue ...

Sitting at the coffee table at Barista, I discuss this with Netra often.

Basically it was a monologue you could say.
She did not say a word and it was just me doing all the talking all the while.
There is this thing with me.
If I am not talking, I would not talk, and if i start talking, i just go and on.

"Today's fortune:
You are the master of every situation. "
I read that in an online fortune message. How true it is I thought.

All against myself | Mahabalipuram Beach

I often say to people who ask me for advice, the best person for the solution to your problems is yourself. The others are just to guide you.

What I am is because of me.
What I will be is because of me.

What I will do is because I like doing it.
What I seek is because I yearn for it.

I am an integral part of me.
Every success is mine.
Every failure is mine.

I am the creator of my dreams.
I am the follower of my dreams.

I am the creator of my problems,
I am the finder of the solutions...

I am the center of my universe.
So I am me.

Also read similar thing at my friend Sharanya's profile and have loved it.

25 July, 2008


I woke up today morning with a bad intuition. Reached office and found out that yes there was indeed some bad news. Another terror attack. A few more innocent lives killed. Bangalore witnesses 9 blasts in the span of an hour. So been in this pensive mood since morning.
I love the city of Bangalore. Netra and me have really fond memories of it. It was there that our love blossomed. We got to know each other better. The weekend outings had been memorable.

And then suddenly there is all this happening. And this is not the first time that this has happened.
Why do people have to do it?
Many like me would have asked the same question.
Many like me do not know the answer to it.
Many like me would perhaps stay quiet and just pray that nothing like this happens to our loved ones.
Many would start to think, if at all there is a place that can be called safe is not vulnerable against these social evils.

One of the best outings that Nikky and me spent was at the Madiwala Market.
And yes, this was taken at the very place one of the blasts happened on Firday.
This was one of the most satisfying portraits I have taken.
Mother and Son  Madiwala Market, Bangalore
After this incident, I am sure, so many more mothers be worried about their children who have been staying in the city, far away from family.

People would start looking at each other with suspicious eyes. No one would feel safe.
Shooting me?

May the soul of the deceased rest in peace.

24 July, 2008

Dark Times

It was a dark evening.
The clouds enveloped over the city like a dark ocean over the skyscrapers.
The towers of the John Hancock and the Sears Towers appeared to be kissing the clouds and could drench the city at any instant.

Aboard the Odyssey, Netra and me, headed out onto the Lake.
A perfect romantic evening it was. She looked gorgeous in that black outfit of hers. The slanting candle light shone on her body and it glittered like gold. And why not. After all she was my babe. My Golden babe.

The chiaroscuro formed by the clouds, formed interesting patterns on the wake of the cruise. The sun kept playing hide and seek. With the gentle breeze and the rising waves , the water of the looked beautiful.
Standing at the deck, with water droplets hitting us from time to time, we stared at the skyline.
It was a truly romantic moment. A moment of being connected to each other. Far from the maddening crowd of the city, and in the arms of each other.

I had to be over protective of Nikky and made sure that no water went on her sensitive skin. I did not want to send her to the hospital again so soon.

The Dark Night

Observing the scene outside, we were wondering about the similar kind of situation that people go through in their life. At times, the clouds engulf the entire soul and even a single ray of light is enough to motivate them.

I remember many such instances in my life. Situations when there would be no one by my side, but Nikky. And these small small incidences in my life has increased my love for her a lot more.
I knew that come what may, in any situation , Nikky would be by my side.
Always there to cheer me up.
Always there to motivate me.
Always showing me the light that is there, at times just beyond the clouds.
Every time I felt let down by someone, Nikky was there for me. She helped me regain my faith in myself. She helped me rejuvinate everytime I came back tired.

When I tell her these things, she blushes. I can sense that. It's just that it is not evident on her face. She has always been very modest and perhaps will never understand the value that she holds in my life.

She is just too precious for me.

23 July, 2008

What's in a name?

Well there are many kind of names. There are pseudo names, pet names, love names, home names, official names, maiden names .... and so on.

I am sure many of you out there, would have pet names too. I remember having quite a few.
In college my friends used to call me names.. in school it was different ones.. when am at home.. people call me something different.. and then when with loved ones.. they call me something different. ..

But at the end end of it how does it matter?
I am me
It's all me. The same person.

So Nikky is Netra. Netra is Nikky.
Nikky is when i am feeling more loved and Netra is when I am on the job with her.

Netra is my vision.
It's through her eyes that I see the world.
And there are many a times that I see a world that is not to be seen with my eyes.

...is all i can offer.

At times Netra loves to adorn these special lenses and at those moments the world around us changes dramatically. There is suddenly so much beauty all around. Every thing has its own design and is truly divine.
Happy Spring
And I do feel that at times everyone should take the time out and see the world around them. Pause from the busy lives and just observe and appreciate the beauty of things around.

At times, I so wish, Nikky could talk to me and let me know if she had a pet name for me too! I am sure she would have one as I am sure she loves me just as much as I do.

20 July, 2008

A Beachy Affair

Today Nikky and me went to the beach...

We spent three hours on the beach...
Apart from the cuddling and the spending time with each other we also met a few seagulls.
Now a word about seagulls. I wanted to take pictures of them and while doing it, it also struck me that I could do an entire series on them. The beach is just a minute walk from my apartment here and the seagulls are there always!
Seagulls are one of the most interesting creatures that I have come across. They scare you, they surprise you, they play with you like friends.
If I moved towards them, they did not fly.. but just walked. If I moved left, they moved right .. and the vice versa. And the faster I walked, the faster they walked!

There was a person on the beach who had supposedly come to read, but she seemed too impressed with my act. I also had other people staring at me..
Family's Day out

I was trying to take pictures of it. I wanted to take a picture of it just when it takes off.
With the limited possibilities that my lenses allow, I kept trying!
I could sense that Nikky was getting frustrated at this... of me trying to capture it .. I tried for many times... and thats something with me.
I like to keep trying till I get the shot I want.
One of the things about being a perfectionist. Guess its inbuilt as a Virgo.
However, many a times, it does lead to problematic situations.
At the end I had to settle for this. I also realize that I need a faster lens. Someday perhaps I will get that and Nikky will be happy too! :)

Lets see where we go together now!
Oh Ya, we did go on a cruise the other day. The Odyssey at Chicago. Perhaps I will write about it the next time.

Till then ..

15 July, 2008

The Date...

A bright Chicago Summer Day it was.
A perfect day for a date as one would say.
Not hot, and the cool breeze from the Lake Michigan making things very pleasant.
Hand in hand, we strolled on the Michigan Avenue.
Something was bothering me. I was feeling a bit strange. I had been with her since long, but the fact that I had people ogle at us was un-comforting.
What was stranger to me was the fact that, even though this was a country where people did all sorts of things at the name of PDA (public display of affection) they were staring at us.
Why the hell do people have to stare? A glance is acceptable. But a stare is indeed inviting trouble.

Nevertheless, we continued to go step by step.
At times she also clung around my neck.
The Magnificent Mile Art Festival was on in its full glory at the Tribune Tower. One thing I love about Chicago is its appreciation of art and the support that it gives to artists.

It basically was a sale cum-exhibition of works of different artists across the country.

What really struck both of us was the inspiration that each of these artists possessed.
There were a couple of artists whose work was really inspiring. We also spoke to a few of them.
Talking to these artists one realizes that as a photographer its really important to keep oneself inspired and motivated at all times.
There are numerous instances when the art one creates would go unnoticed, but one needs to keep the patience and keep working towards the larger goal. The goal of being able to work on what one is passionate about.
So you have artists who spend a lifetime developing and mastering their style of art.
It takes a lot of patience, perseverance and hard work.

It was a great day spent together. We did not speak much though. All we did was get absorbed in the art in the air.

Lovely times together I should say.

12 July, 2008

Babe is fine and Back

Thank you all for the good wishes.
I got my babe back yesterday.

The last couple of days had been hard on me.
So much so, that people actually noticed it...
Said another colleague,
"Whats wrong? Why are you low today?"
How do I tell her what I was missing? Though she knew about my babe, perhaps she could not understand my affection for my love. And I did not want to spend my energy in convincing her.

Waiting for my babe at the hospital, I met two other ladies. One had come to take her lover back and the other was just admitting her one who was very was serious. I had a chance to see him. Short, black, and I could make out he was from the same clan as my love. He had a fracture in the skull. His body parts did not function well. I felt really sorry for the lady. Her voice was so low when she was speaking to the nurse and I could feel the pain myself.

At this moment, the first lady, who also happened to be a regular visitor to the hospital said that for such situations she always had another body with her. It was like saying that she had two people she loved a lot and one susbtituted for the other when one was hospitalised. Felt odd about it.
How could you have two lovers at the same time? It is something that is impossible for me. Its always been just one. Maybe the lady's profession demanded it. I remember having to compleely forget and give up my old love when we broke up and put in all my affection for this new one.
Having multiple lovers at the same time would definitely lead to jealousy and above all a storm in the mind with all the confusion around.

Soon, holding my babe, the nurse appeared. The moment I got her back, I could feel my heart jumping with joy. This also seemed to be showing on my face, as I saw the nurse smiling at me.

God!!! They, had her wrapped up in plastic. But then it perhaps was for that extra precaution. Felt bad thinking about all the pain she would have had to undergo at the operation table. Those instruments would have hurt. I hope the anaethesia worked properly. I even hate the nauseating smell of it and those instruments sends shivers within me. I feel cold just at the thought of it.

My babe smiled at me. We smiled at the other ladies and at the nurse.
Together we were one again. Me and she. Me promising to take care of her all the more from now on. She promising to keep serving me with the same vigour as when we had first met.

Today I am going on a date with my babe. We are thinking of trying a new location.

Till we are back.


"You don't have to be "different" to stand out in the crowd, you can be yourself but just need to stretch yourself to rise above the ordinary."

One of friend's brother said this and my friend conveyed me this message. I find it so true. The other thing that struck me, was that I have tried to be like that this way all my life.

Sometimes it has been due to the situation. Sometimes its been a conscious decision to do so. But whatever it has been, it has been a good one at the end of the day.

Another poem that comes to the mind is by Robert Frost, The road less traveled. Beautiful poem.

10 July, 2008

My babe is sick

So sick that I had to hospitalize her.
And every moment I spend without her is so painful.
I am sure everyone who loves someone would understand it.

I remember the day when we came together. It seemed like we were waiting for years.
The thirst in me to possess her was unexplainable.
At the same time I was ecstatic.
My months of patience had finally paid off.
I was finally going to have her. And me and she... we were going to be one.
I had not told my parents about it. I remember it was only after 6 months I told them the details of our relationship.
My friends were jealous of me, but at the same time happy for me.

The first time I touched her body, I could feel her getting shy. Though she was unresponsive.Or perhaps she was responding, and I was just not able to feel it.
Over the years we became best of friends, soulmates. I would not go anywhere without her.
She became an unseparable part of me. People recognised us as one. Either was incomplete without the other.

I have taken so much care of her, been very careful while handling her.
But she is just too sensitive.
A little bit of heat or dust or rain and she is not able to resist it.
The last time she was sick, I had her cured on the same day.
However this time the wait is longer.
The nurse who was taking her away to the chambers was a bit rough while handling her and I could hear my heart shout at her.
I requested the doctor to take special care of her. He assured me to look after her with extra care and to get her cured well.
There were other patients in the hospital. I am sure they must have been loved ones of someone.

Its funny how the heart aches when you get detached for a short while from the people or thing you love.
People would show emotions. Things however do not.

Every second of the wait is killing me. I wait for her return. So that we could explore new horizons together again.
The list of places is long and the time short.

I feel incomplete without her.
I miss her so much.

I miss my Nikon.

Childhood Memories | First School

So, I am starting to write more frequently now.
I personally feel that there is a lot of things that I can share. From my boarding education, to parents in a transferable job, to my travel across the country.
I have this dream of visiting all across India before I turn 30, and if things go as per the plan, that should be achievable.
Just that been roaming other parts of the world too in the mean time.

First School.
The very first school that I went to was the Sun Shine School located at Kurseong, in the beautiful hills of Darjeeling District of West Bengal.
I remember I was in dormitory 2 and there was a Bulbul Miss who was our matron. Miss Bulbul was amongst the sweetest teachers that you would meet. I am sure she must have convinced my parents very well when they were leaving me at the hostel for the first time. Amongst the ayahs, whom we used to call didi then, some names that come to my mind are Asha didi and Uma didi. One for her penchant of pinching kids with her super long nails and the other for her every loving nature for kids. This is perhaps why they remain in my memories even after 21 years I met them.

...to be continued.

08 July, 2008

Kshitiz ke paar jaana hai ..

A Friend of mine Sunil Kr Singh wrote this poem.

kshitiz ke paar jaana hai
ek naya sansaar banana hai
sankuchit si lagti hai duniya
seemaon ko nirarthak banana hai

sunte aaye aaj tak ki
sambhav nahi hai ye swapna
saare khyalo ko dur bhagana hai
ek naya sansaar banana hai

apni kayarta ko dur bhagana hai
mila ke haath, is nabh ko bhi
dharti se milana hai
ek naya sansaar banana hai

us sansaar me koi dukhi na hoga
ye kah nahi sakte
par sabke paas dukh batane ka sukh hoga
aisa ek sansaar banana hai

Ram rajya me rajya baad me
pahle apne Raam ko Lana hai
ek naya sansaar banana hai
kshitiz ke paar jaana hai
naya sansaar banana hai

Are you Happy?

Today I posted this on my status message in office and suddenly I had people pinging me. All this while .. no one was even interested in saying a HI. So it caught my attention.
One person said that it is a very difficult question to answer. Another reposed the question to me, saying that he is happy.
So when I analysed this situation I understand that Yes, we do need to ask ourselves this question from time to time.
After all what's life worth living for when you are not happy!

One thing that I constantly am reminded of if, we as human beings are always killing the joy and happiness of today by remembering about yesterday and worrying about tomorrow.
Wish everyone enjoyed each day with whatever they had.

But then, thats not a possibility as if it was the case, their would be no fightings. No wars, no crime. And that one would say is against the principles of economics.

Today is the Beatle, Ringo Star's birthday. Yesterday in a paper I read that he wished for peace and joy to all in his birthday. Well, ideally that would be wonderful. Unfortunately, it is not.