30 January, 2009

Just love this song


People ...

... are weird at times!

Sometimes they talk to motivate you .. and sooner or later they ridicule you...
Sometimes they sing to you ...sometimes just bark.

Why is it so difficult to understand people?

Dukaan Band Rahega

Why can't all be just like children.. carefree... and honest and be what they are?

29 January, 2009


It hurts...
Doesn't it?

Even if the distance is an inch .. or many thousand miles..

26 January, 2009

From my window...

from my window

... i saw the moon
... how beautifully it shown.

... i saw the stars and the sky..
... and wished for the wings to fly..

... i saw the trickling rains..
... i felt the receding pains..

... i saw the flowers blue..
... and just how much i missed you.

25 January, 2009

A few more days....

कुछ चंद दिन और की बात है
फ़िर हम भी होंगे उस चाय की दुकान पे
हम भी पूछेंगे लोगों का हाल समाचार
हम भी सुनेंगे कुछ मीठी बातें
वोह बच्चों को मुस्कुराना
वोह नुक्कड़ वाले काका की कहानियाँ
सवारी होगी रेल या कोई नाव
साथ में ज़रूर होगी अपनी कोई रुसवाईयाँ

तब और भी हसेंगे हम ,
बेरोक बेफिक्र होकर खेलेंगे हम ,
मिटटी की खुसबू से अपने को नेह्लायेंगे,
चाय की चुस्की में आनंद उठाएंगे.


"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she had to go
I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Why she had to go
I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm."

-Lyrics from "Yesterday" by Beatles.

I just love this song.
There is something in the Beatles voice, that it makes you listen to it again and again.

24 January, 2009

An Internal Fight

After a long pause, he said further,
"Everyday is a fight. A fight with no one else in particular, but just with the inner self. To be more specific, a fight between the mind and the heart. Isn't life so much simpler when you have somethings that are in resonance with the mind and the heart? But ideally it is not so. There is always a conflict. Your heart wants you to be in a certain place, at a certain time and the mind would in most cases have a conflict. And it is these situations that often lead to a situation which, trust me is not pleasant. In this situation, there is this aura of insecurity that surrounds you."

"But you can talk to others and get a clarification on things right? You talk to so many people and have amazing PR skills. You speak your mind, and you speak it well. So what's the harm in doing so?"
she said. She had this habit of always interrupting him in middle.

He thought about it. Over the past few days he had advised to so many people, spoken on a gamut of issues. And in these times where, he required some advice for himself he did not know whom to go to. Friends whom he thought, understood him, did not now. His family never really got to know much about what he was doing. All they knew was that he had done academically pretty well throughout his school and his college and that he was away in a far off place doing something. They assumed that he must be doing really well as that's what he sounded like on the long and frequent telephonic calls.

I travel alone.....

He continued "You know, thats the irony of the situation. Over the years, there have been just a handful of people who really understood me. And with time that handful changes. There are very very few who stay with you through thick and thin, but others just move on. Its easy to move on. Simple."

...to be continued.

19 January, 2009

On Decisions....

Is it really that difficult to make a decision and stick by it?

Should one be forced to change the decision based on the influence of others ?
I guess not.

Decisions should be taken with a proper understanding of the situation and the consequences.

18 January, 2009

On Happiness...

"...the girl who marries you will be a very lucky girl.", she said!

"All that I wish for is that she is as crazy as me... and willing to understand the craziness... understand me as I am... understand the purpose of my life....Seriously this is all I ask. Just an understandable person",
he said.

"So what is purpose of life?. The purpose of your life? The purpose of my life?", she asked.

"Well, life is not worth living, or things not worth doing if it is not giving you true happiness", he replied back instantly. It looked as if he had the answer at the tip of his mouth, waiting to be blurted out. He had done that a couple of times and spoken to many with the same vigor. He had been in this state of just talking for long duration on this.

And then he added, "Isn't it wonderful if the way you live life revolves around the word happy. There is no thing as sad. Either you are not happy or you are less happy or you are more happy. So when you are you are not in a state which you , of saying I am bad, doesn't it make a slight difference to say I am not too good instead. I go a step further. I say either I am good or I am great. I guess ' just a first step towards removing the negativity and the pessimism that surrounds us. That is so easy to get to a person. It affects the person to a large extent."

She smiled. Suddenly things started to have a different meaning in her life. The confusion that was literally killing her from inside seemed to be vanishing away. Her determination to succeed and be a person who she was, grew exponentially.

He continued,"If one revolves the life around happiness, i.e. giving happiness and spreading happiness, suddenly the whole situation changes. But there is a catch. As often people tend to relate these two to be complimentary. Mentioning that only when one happens, the other will happen. I don't think so that is true. Being content with what one has is the first step towards attaining that state of being happy. I often have been roaming on the streets, clicking photographs, visiting places, meeting people, and I wonder what is it that makes them smile in these conditions. And I think that thing is being content about whatever situation they are in. Now being content does not mean that one has to stop dreaming about things or not having a goal towards gaining something new. It means to accepting what you are and what you have and being content and Happy with that at first. Only when one is happy with that, they can seek out to spreading happiness and as a result, gaining more happiness. Cribbing about what is not there, and looking too much into the future of how things will be are also the bringers of this unhappiness."

...to be continued.

13 January, 2009

...and the last lap began.

How often I have been in this situation...
At crossroads or of a unclear path ahead..
wishing that the choices were less..
and the mind at some peace..

To Somewhere...

In the last lap here now...
last semester...one week done... fifteen more to go!
I think this one is going to be a hectic one too..
with loads of reading and thinking ..

The thoughts of a career..
Giving me sleepless nights..
Hopefully the puzzle will be solved
and the pieces fit together.

Kela waala

11 January, 2009

A note about fear...

Why do i Fear? And do i fear? Its a natural instinct and everyone faces in in some form or the other at some point in Life. You love someone, there is the fear of loosing him/her. You put in a lot of hard work in something and there is the fear of failing. You aspire to reach a goal and there is the fear of loosing track and reaching somewhere else…You want to learn swimming, but there is the fear of drowning even in three feet of water.. You are out in the woods and fear the trees would eat you up or the cliffs engulf you… There is fear all around.

I remember this description about Fear in one of my favorite book “The life of Pi” by Yann Martel. It is definitely worth pondering over the words here.

I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you’ve defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.

Oh lord, help me remove all the fear and be a brave soul that I have always been.

The only thing I fear is you.


Does everyone meditate? Do we have our ideas come in complete silence or in a crowded place. At a serene location or at a place buzzing with activities? Can someone meditate in a crowded place?

Ok , so basic question.. What is meditation? I am no saint, neither do I evangelize anything on this, but this small piece from the book “The Tibetan book of Living and Dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche, did make lot of sense .

The purpose of meditation is to awaken us in the sky-like nature of the mind, and to introduce us to that which we really are, our unchanging pure awareness, which underlies the whole of life and death.
In the stillness and silence of meditation, we glimpse and return to that deep inner nature that we have so long ago lost sight of amid the busyness and distractions of our minds. Isn’t it extraordinary that our minds cannot stay long for longer than a few moments without grasping after distraction; they are so restless and preoccupied that sometimes I think that, living in a city in the modern world, we are already like the tormented beings in the intermediate state after death, where the consciousness is said to be agonizingly restless.
We are fragmented into so many different aspects. We don’t know who we really are, or what aspects of ourselves we should identify with or believe in. So many contradictory voices, dictates, and feelings fight for control over our inner lives that we find ourselves scattered everywhere, in all directions leaving nobody at home.Meditation, then is the bringing the mind home.

In hope ..

If your mind is able to settle naturally of its own accord, and if you are inspired simply to rest in its pure awareness, then you do not need any method of meditation. In fact it might even be unskillful when you’re in such a state to tray and empty one. However, the vast majority of us find it difficult to arrive at that state straight away.

I feel that meditation has a lot to do with letting things go, being just able to relax, of being to be in a fresh state of mind before starting onto another thing fresh. Doing whatever please the soul is perhaps the best way to relax.
So... did you meditate today?

08 January, 2009

Tagged (Six random things about myself)

Tagged by Sharanya
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

So here they are,
1) I love to go on unplanned trips. I love to travel in the most rural means of transport, in unfamiliar places, where people do not recognize me, and where I am not able to communicate in their language and the only means of communication is my smile and the other signs. In fact my new year resolution this year is to smile everyday! :)

2) I have a great amount of uncertainty to a certain extent.. but when I decide on something ... I have a great determination towards attaining it! I like to dream crazy stuff... and go to a great extent to fulfill them. I fulfill them and then shed tears of joy (Yes.. I do cry :P) over it and then dream more.

3) I have an obsession for India and anything Indian. I have an old resolution to travel across India before I turn thirty! So not many years left to fulfill that! Covered quite a few states... 18-19 I think.

4) I love meeting new people, but still cannot start a conversation when in a public place. So, I chat a lot! (My typing speed actually has improved a lot because of that) And often people confuse whether I am the same person with whom they were chatting when they meet me in person. When in person, I am often a quiet person and more of a listener! I have a tendency to stay in touch with people for a long time and am thrilled when I get back in touch with someone after a long time!

5) When, I was a kid I loved to make my own greeting cards. I think it made it extra special for the person for whom the card was made.. When in class four, I mistook Anniversary for University and was about to send a hand made card to my parents saying "Happy University" . Thank god we had a outing, and in the store I saw a Anniversary card! :P I think I would soon get back to sending physical tangible cards again rather than just e cards!

6) I have this feeling that I want to do so many things that one lifetime is too short a time for it. I thus want to write a book, make movies, roam the world, give lectures... and of-course design! !!! Phew.... Is that a disorder?

Most cool bloggers I know are already tagged, so all those who feel inspired, do write and let me know your list ! :)

Some of them are


04 January, 2009


Do you fight Desires?

Especially negative desires...
the things that you know are wrong.. that the society despises.. and still you feel like doing it..

How do you do it?
Well I guess there are many ways to do it.. but for me what is working currently to a little extent is to be occupied in some other work.

It's kinds weird to have such a kind of post in the start of the year. A post with more questions than answers, but I guess it gives some direction to follow.

Guess its with human nature to believe more in things... when they are written down that just spoken.

02 January, 2009

New Year Resolutions?

So, I was just listening to the radio the other day and there was this section on new year resolutions. While the most common one is the loss of weight, and people dropping other habits, there were some interesting ones as well. I am sure I have done the same a few years back too...

Like every year, and like every other person I thought I should have some too.
But unlike every year, I thought that this year I will take more reasonable resolutions. Somethings that I think will be possible and I would be able to follow without any guilt or pain.

So for me, one is, that I will spend more time with Netra and explore more of the world around us. While I cannot promise to explore newer geographical locations, I am sure we will meet more and more interesting people.

Second is that I will smile everyday and make more people around me do the same in whatever way I can.

And of all the years, I think this year I will be able to stick to the resolutions the most.
I think its because of the fact that the past year I was able to understand myself better and that was possible since I was most of the time.

Here's wishing everyone a very pleasant New Year and loads of wishes for prosperity.