When we run around too many things..

Over the past few days, I have been in a sort of a confused state of mind, owing to the work pressure and the stress related to it. It went to its nadir, when I ended up getting sick and extreme fatigue set in. I collapsed at the Patna Airport and got to know I was suffering from high blood pressure. Panic creeps in. This is NOT the life that I had envisioned or wanted!

Suddenly, the feeling of burnout. The feeling of just wanting to shut down everything. Post that day, I took a few steps backwards to understand why I was doing what I was doing, and whether it is right or not. I realise that I am running after too many things, primarily in the work area. There is perhaps the desire to get that extra money, to be able pay off the home loans, or plan for the future. I was not like that. I used to travel for pleasure. I used to socialise a lot (not on FB, Social Media, but in person. I enjoyed simple things in life.

Something must have triggered that change. I was never the guy who ran after money. So what is it ? Is it fear? Insecurity ? What am I fearful about ? What makes me Insecure? Is it impatience? Is it the notion that I have too less time and so many more things to do.

I think the next few months would be spent in trying to analyse the situation and rectify all that all wrong.
I stumbled upon the beautiful song sung by Mukesh Kumar with amazing lyrics and music.  Every word in the song fits in perfectly with the



What amazing lyrics too.
कई बार यूँ भी देखा हैं 
ये जो मन की सीमा रेखा हैं, मन तोड़ने लगता हैं
अनजानी प्यास के पीछे , अनजानी आस के पीछे, मन दौड़ने लगता हैं

राहों में, राहों में, जीवन की राहों में
जो खिले हैं फूल, फूल मुस्कुरा के
कौन सा फूल चुरा के, रखूँ मन में सज़ा के

जानू ना, जानू ना, उलझन ये जानू ना
सुलझाऊ कैसे कुछ समझ ना पाऊं
किस को मीत बनाऊ, किस की प्रीत भुलाऊं

Different person

A couple of days ago, my office colleagues mentioned that over the past month or so I appear to be a different person. I wondered why?
It came as a surprise, since I feel that I have been the same, but they refused to believe so. They claimed that I was more friendly and happier in office.

So today morning, I reflected back to think whether that was true or not. I thought of the things I have been doing differently in the past month and whether that could be a reason. If it is then I definitely need to continue doing so.

I started working out regularly. This is not to get muscular or participate in any competitions, but just to remain healthy. The feeling of being drenched in sweat and aching legs up the stairs gives an immense satisfaction. The mind is refreshed considerably.

I reduced my sugar intake drastically! They say that excess sugar in your body makes you feel lethargic and irritated. I put this to test, and feel that it is kind of true. I have a sweet tooth and the sight of the Indian sweets would make me go weak. Resisting that temptation is tougher than I thought it would be.

I started talking to my daughter, even though she just makes some sound when she listens me on the phone. At just 4 months now, I know she perhaps does not understand a word of what I say, but I still do it.  I am hearing her grow up and cannot wait to see her soon.

I took upon this task of finishing off things and trying to procrastinate less. This is perhaps the biggest change I am trying to do, in order to finish things and not leave it pending. It helps me bring back the focus.

This focus is also allowing me to concentrate on tasks that really matter and put the others on lower priority.

All of this is perhaps due to that one book called "The One Thing" that I am reading currently. The last time a book had such a lasting impact on me was "The Secret" and that was a few years back. 

Focus.. the Key..

These are challenging times, I must say..
With too much going on all around, the one thing that is missing is the focus.
It is important to get it back.

I notice that it has been impacting me in my work.
There is the constant fear of failure.. do not know since when it started bothering me.
May be it is the family pressure? Or the fact that I have a larger family now?

This needs to change.

#Notes2Self 

Cause I'm Happy

The rage all over! :)