30 August, 2009

Emotional Turbulence

Being a documentary photographer is tough emotionally. You have to be always at a level in which you connect with your subjects. Documentaries would generally revolve around people and his surroundings. The people make the documentaries and the things around him gives a lot of character to the shot.

Today morning I had gone to this shoot, at the market area opposite to the Majestic bus stand, in Bangalore. It was after a long time that I was shooting streets and people in their daily life. We had started shooting around 7:30 am, so the light was good (though God uncle was playing switch on , switch off, and threw in some clouds as a challenge).

There are moments that makes your heart cry out in despair. One of the subjects that I spotted was this traveler (he had a travel bag with him) who was sleeping at the footsteps of a closed shop.

I took a couple of standing shots but did not quite feel the essence of the shot. And then to explore the subject further, I bent down and sat, and tried a different composition. My camera focused on his feet.

I saw something interesting.
I started counting.
1,2,3, .....9.
I stopped there.
Stood there dumbfounded.
Without a word to speak out.
Without any thought in my head.
Simple point blank.

Could I just shout out loud?
Could I come to terms with that there are millions who go through constant pain everyday in their lives. So much so that it becomes a part of them, and they still seek to find happiness in it.

But then as i said, being a documentary photographer is a lot about controlling your emotions and moving on. Moving on in the hope that you will find something to cheer you up. Something that will cheer you up.

Initially I took a picture of only the guy on the right, and then the girl on the left started crying and went and complained to her mom, saying that I did not take picture of her. So her mother requested me to take her picture. I felt really bad about it. I obliged, and had one of most beautiful 15 minutes of the day. A moment that was full of genuine smiles, and innocence. The girl on the left, was then at her smiling best.

Still afresh from the last night's accident, this moment of joy was incomparable to anything else. It was priceless. It was a great thing to set the mood for the day.

These are just few of the emotions that I go through every time I go out to shoot. I still go out, no matter what. :)


Rhapsody said...

Beautiful!!! :)

Kshitiz Anand said...

Thanks Swati!

Pritesh said...

Absolutely beautiful! Not just the photos but also, the courage behind them. The courage needed to go on in spite of the fact that the sadness, the joy, the despair, the excitement of the subject gently tugs at you.......way to go!!!!!!

Kshitiz Anand said...

Hmm.. agree Pritesh.
Everyday is a learning experience for me.

rocksea said...

sharing your emotions!

~mE said...

this is not a challenge of a 'documentary photographer', i think its a challenge of every emotional being!
I feel sad when an old man comes and knocks on my car window asking for money, I feel sad when i see old people struggling to get into a public transport, i feel sad when children have to beg on streets......so on

Kshitiz Anand said...

Hmm good point Sharanya!